Merging of the Blogs

So I merged my weight loss blog with this one.  I was going to resurrect this one, as I just didn't have the time to do anything with it, but I didn't want this one and then the other for my random thoughts on the health/weight loss stuff.  Double work I know I'll never get around to!  I hate that this blog was just sitting....

I'm down 130 pounds!  My weight has stalled a bit the past couple of weeks.  I have to kick it into gear and start using my fitbit and track my food to get back on track.  The mom shuttle has begun with band camp, dance class, and gymnastics starting again.  Time limits are a problem and truth be told, I haven't been making all the best food choices, but I haven't gained.  That's a plus, right?  When Emma starts Kindergarten here in a week, I'll be free to run/walk without having to tow her along in some capacity.  Look out!  I'll be the lady with the pug.  :)

My hernia isn't doing so well and my doctor wants me to go in for surgery to fix it.  It is getting worse because I don't have that 130 pounds pushing back keeping it in anymore so it pops out a lot.  Sorry if that's TMI, but it is what it is. It will have to wait until after football season.  My baby will be marching this year.  Unfortunately, the other side of my little city is my high school alma mater. My kids will attend the opposing school.  Who will I root for?  I was actually going to drive them across town to my old school when they started high school, but the current school is 1 mile away.  That would be silly.  Cant say I didn't think about it, however!

I'm sad that Summer is ending.  We have been busy all summer and have done so many fun things!  I'll be able to focus more on myself while the kids are in school and get caught up with the seemingly endless projects I take on. 

 



Prison

Well, as of this morning I have lost 119 pounds!  Yay me!  We are going to the beach today and I'm not fretting about how I'm going to look, or what clothes I'm going to wear, what is going to fit, etc. etc. because things are either too big for me in my closet, or fit just right.  I haven't the largest selection of clothing, but I don't even care!  Haven't a clue what actual size I am right now, it changes weekly it seems and good clothes are expensive!  So I don't want to go and buy a bunch of stuff only to not fit in it in a short time.

That brings me to the subject at hand.  I had spent SO much time worrying about clothes, places, people, situations... on and on when it had to do with my weight.  So much so that it was just better to stay put at home.  It was a prison.  I see pictures of a friend of mine (she had bypass 2 years ago) that went to California last week.  Pictures of her on Venice Beach, wearing her 2 piece swimsuit, doing yoga on the hillside.  She would have NEVER had done that 100 pounds ago.  I know I'm not the only one.

I went with my little family to the circus the other night.  We had the best time.  I kept saying, 'I wouldn't have been here this time last year.'  ...and I wouldn't have.  I would have been able to climb the stairs all the way up the stadium, but I would have been out of breath and sweaty.  Those things didn't happen to me this time around.  The chair would have been really snug to the point of pain. The other night, I was comfy with room to spare.  I would have worried about people looking at me.  I didn't feel like I stood out too much, except for the fact that I'm a 5'10" lady in a sea of 5'5" ladies.  I would have worried about what I was going to wear.  I just threw on some clothes that were clean, I have no issues now with clothes being too tightish (that's my new word), I don't feel like I have to be in a tent of a shirt now.  Gosh, all the time I spent worrying. I'll never have it back

So, we are going on our yearly adventure to the beach today.  I'm not scared to not wear a shirt and shorts OVER my suit.  I'm not wearing a string bikini by any means-ha!-but Im not ashamed anymore.  Sure, I have some more weight to lose.  Sure, my thighs are not the tight Gisele Bündchen thighs that everyone strives for, but I have come a LONG way.  I have been released from a virtual prison.  And you know what?  Everyone in my family is better off for it.  :)

 

My babies :)

 

Pre-Circus selfie!

Empathy

Unfortunately, I have become very cynical about the human spirit.  That being said, I still go out of my way to help those that I see need it. I'm always hoping that in some small way, I'll start that butterfly effect of kindness. Pay it forward.  Don't be judgmental. You never know what someone is going through or what cross they bear in their life.

I have noticed a disturbing thing I'm doing, however.  I'm starting to judge people by what they have in their carts at the grocery store.  Especially the overweight.  What am I going to do?  Talk about the nutritional impact of a Brussels sprout versus the bag of chips they have in their cart?  I really hate that I do this.

I wonder how many people judged ME?

Rewards

Well, I have officially lost 85 pounds since August 2014 and 53 since January.  I want to do things to reward myself.  Just another little motivation on top of just feeling better!!  This got me to thinking...  what things would motivate me other than food?  I am compiling a list and I am not sure if I will use my surgery date weight or my total weight, but there will be fun to be had either way.  This list is a work in progress and I will add more as I think of more:

1.  Manicure
2. Weekend getaway with hubby
3.  Go to the movies (that's not a kids movie!)
4.  Flowers
5. New sandals
6. new pretty fun ring or bracelet
7.  Buy some yummy smelling lotion
8. Have my house cleaned by someone other than me
9.  Have some professional pictures made

One of my two favorite flowers:

Cravings

I have been low in calcium.  I was taking the wrong calcium like a dum dum, but this has since been resolved.  Interestingly, I have been craving chips and pretzels... I never had before.  Even more interestingly, I found this on my online travels and look at what it says for chips...  I'll try the alternative healthy foods here  :)

Avocados - The Super food?

Let me say this.  I love love love LOVE avocados!!!!  Since my surgery, So many tastes of mine have changed.  I used to love pickles, now I don't care for them.  Bread makes me want to barf, where I used to eat half a French bread with butter before, just for instance. 

Something I have really taken to are avocados.  I love them.  I love the texture.  The taste.  The color.  The way they have their own wrapping.  The smell.  The ease you can scoop the avocado from the skin.  If I had a small bowl of chips and some guacamole, I'd be in heaven. I haven't given into that, as that would be a danger food for me, but it makes my mouth water thinking of it.  I eat half of one one day, then I'll eat the other half the next.  I cut them up and put them on everything pretty much.  I'm thinking about a scrambled egg with some or a low fat tuna salad tomorrow.  yum!  I don't buy them often, but I have two just ripening in my kitchen right now.

Fun facts (from the California Avocado Commission):

• Avocados are a fruit
• Avocados were once a luxury food reserved for the tables of royalty
• The avocado is also called an Alligator Pear because of its pear-like shape and green skin

Some notable, yet not so fun facts:

• Avocados offer nearly 20 vitamins and minerals in every serving.
• Avocados are a good source of B vitamins, which help you fight off disease and infection. They also give you vitamins C and E, plus natural plant chemicals that may help prevent cancer.
• Avocados are low in sugar. And they contain fiber, which helps you feel full longer.
• Avocados are high in fat. But it's monounsaturated fat, which is a "good" fat that helps lower bad cholesterol, as long as you eat them in moderation.

Now, a single serving of avocado is 1/5 of the fruit (about 50 cal in a medium one), not the 1/2 I usually eat.  I have the extra calories to spend, however, and I choose to spend them on my favorite little Alligator Pears!  (I can think of a million worse ways to spend them too!  :P)

Disney on Ice and a dose of self esteem

Well, today I did something I would NEVER have done 3 months ago.  I bought tickets to see Disney on Ice with Emma at the Reliant Stadium.  I didn't like to go out of the house, much less go there.  All the people cramped up in those seats, getting in your personal space. The seats, made for much smaller people.  Ouch on your tush!!  I just couldn't take it before all this.  I did buy seats on the outside, in hopes that no one will take the seats by us and we don't have to be all crammy. Big seat, little seat, I need my personal space!!

I know I still have a ways to go, but my self esteem is much better now.  Not 100% by any means, but I don't hide so much in shame.  I still don't enjoy putting on my fake smile and nodding with all the PTA/Dance moms, but its a start.  Gosh, I don't ever think I'll ever like the PTA/Dance moms.  I'll continue to avoid them.  Yeah, I'm that random mommy over on the side either reading or talking on the phone.  Ha!  Served my time with those ladies and it's like high school all over.  Never again. 

I started the Denise Austin workout plan thing.  I have always loved her.  Walking around the block endless times is getting so boring and the treadmill makes me want to scream.  Even more boring. Even with TV.  Go figure.  Anyway, I have been longing to do some aerobics, but all the classes offered here in my City are the silly Zumba ones.  I have nothing against it, it just isn't what I want to do.  So, I did her little aerobic workout thing for today and it was great!  Emma even did it too.  She is so cute!  With all that and all the running around I did today, I got in almost 8k steps!  yayyyy!!!  Im not really supposed to do any strength stuff for a few more months, especially for abs, but I might try to work on my arms and legs toning.  Couldn't hurt.

We are off to the children's museum tomorrow.  I have a love/hate relationship with that place.  Emma loves it, but it is such organized chaos. Especially after 11 or so.  Again, the personal space issue. Kids everywhere.